Un Poco Gordo

Un poco gordo translates to, a little overweight  in English. This is one of the few phrases I remember from High School Spanish. I did not one, but two semesters of Spanish. Ready for a not so proud admission? I signed up for round two of Espaniol because I knew I could get away with doing practically NOTHING to pass with a 4.0.  Sadly it wasn’t because of my affection for foreign language.

I [could] be somewhat fluent in Spanish had I not cheated the whole way through that year. Forgive me, I was 16 once and my 16-year-old brain’s thought process went something like…

My spanish teacher doesn’t seem to notice or really care if I cheat. I don’t have this option in Physics or Advanced Lit therefore I should cheat.

Or

I live in a country that speaks English therefore I don’t need to be bilingual so I should cheat.

Or

I can talk all hour with my best friend or conjugate verbs? Cheat.

Cheating won 3 times out of 3.

I’m curious even to this very day why this phrase stuck with me all these years later. Probably because I found it funny and if I think somethings funny I remember it. Maybe if my Spanish teacher would have been a comedian I’d be bilingual.

Oh my troubled youth.

Speaking of funny, if you haven’t checked out Comedians In Cars Getting Coffeedo it! You can thank me later. You especially have to watch the episode with Will Ferrell. Let Jerry’s face be a sign of good belly laughs to come.

Comedian

In this episode Will Ferrell admits he’s the type of guy “who has to workout just to look fat.”

I laughed. Out loud. For like five minutes.

I get ya Will. I could work out everyday and still the Mommy belly remains. I know exactly why though.

Donuts & pizza to start. I’m impatient. I stick with a workout plan for like a week. After I finish my workout I truly believe I’ll magically drop 10lbs. From one run. One! And then after my ONE run I want to “treat” myself with a donut. I think about eating my next meal as I’m halfway through my current one. Clearly, my love affair with food trumps my desire to slim down.

To the beat of a drum, Robert Palmer sings ” gonna have to face it you’re addicted to food.” This post-preggo bod ain’t getting tone anytime soon with this mentality. I see pics of Momma’s holding their two week olds in tight dresses, their belly’s flat as a pancake and instead of getting inspired I start thinking about how good a pancake would taste.

Help me Jesus!

My wake up call came in the brightly lit fitting room of my beloved Target. Such a strange feeling to be sad at Target. Trying on bathing suits can have this effect on women, no matter what store their at.

Matthew and I are going to the Bahamas next Wednesday and I wanted to grab a new swimsuit for our Mom & Dad get away. I stood staring at my reflection in the large rectangular mirror. Pale and out of shape. Squishy in all the wrong areas. Puzzled. Questioning, is it me, or is this just a really bad mirror?

I’m un poco gordo. As funny as I thought this phrase was in High School – the reality is, it’s no joke!

I handed over the swimwear to the curly haired lady running the dressing rooms with my head hung low. Matthew sensing my defeat asked me why I looked so sad. He to was all kinds of confused as he’d never seen me anything but elated while shopping at Target. The tears welled up at his question.

Time to stop complaining and get busy! This was the motivation I needed.

As much as I love food I love fitting into my jeans too. So I’m going to have to part ways with my sugar and carbs for now. Or at least only visit them on the weekends. After all I’ve already established I’m a recovering cheater so lean eating of any kind is challenging.

Maybe you feel me. Maybe you were one of those people who confidently committed to making the New Year a [healthy one.] Maybe you’re a new Momma trying to lose the last of the baby weight. Maybe you’re currently checking out Crossfit, in week two of the Whole 30 diet, or just coming to grips with the fact that those extra pounds you’ve wanted to lose for several months are now a faithful companion. A companion you’re ok with having around. Wherever you are I hope you’re happy and can laugh at the situation as Will Ferrell does.

Being un paco gordo isn’t a bad thing as long as you’re healthy and you like the way you look. Feeling comfortable in your own skin is truly the name of the game for me.

As for this girl – I’m working on it.

My goals are quite simple —

  • Eat real food and stay away from processed stuff. The end. I’ve thrown away the junk food in my cupboards which is a BIG DEAL. I know those little treats will beckon to me in moments of weakness. Minimizing temptation is half the battle.

 

  • I’ve upped my water intake so the hungries stay away. I add a few drops of Lemon, Grapefruit, Orange or Lime essential oil and my water goes from Blah to Tada!

  • I stocked up on tons of lean protein and veggies. What’s surprised me the most is that when I have real food to eat I actually eat it! Go figure. A little preparation goes a LONG WAY.
  • Most importantly I’m committed to being patient. I know I won’t have six pack abs in a week. Which isn’t the end goal anyway. Six packs are for Frat parties. I just want to be less squishy.

Please wish this recovering cheater lots of success!

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